Non monogamy jealousy study finds lower jealousy, but mismatch still hurts
A 62-country survey found non-monogamous participants reported less jealousy, while perceived desirability gaps still tracked with conflict.
By Priya Raghavan · Science Reporter
3 min read
A new non monogamy jealousy study reports that people in consensually non-monogamous relationships described less jealousy overall than monogamous participants. The findings also suggest that feeling less desirable than a main partner can strain relationships regardless of whether a couple is exclusive.
The study, by Faith L. Swanson and colleagues and published in Evolution and Human Behaviour, examined how perceived differences in partner desirability relate to conflict, jealousy, rivalry and efforts to keep a partner close. Phys.org reported that the research compared monogamous participants with people in consensually non-monogamous relationships, including polyamory and open relationships.
Does non-monogamy reduce jealousy?
According to the researchers, non-monogamous participants reported notably less jealousy than monogamous participants, along with slightly lower levels of mate guarding and rivalry. Mate guarding refers to behaviors aimed at keeping a partner from leaving or becoming more involved with someone else, such as monitoring or controlling a partner’s actions.
That lower average jealousy did not erase a familiar relationship problem. Across both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships, people who viewed themselves as less desirable than their primary partner reported more frequent conflict and more competition with same-sex rivals, the researchers found.
The concept behind that comparison is known as mate value discrepancy. It describes the gap between how desirable someone sees themselves as a partner and how desirable they believe their partner is, including traits such as attractiveness, intelligence or success.
How the researchers compared relationship types
The study surveyed 512 people from 62 countries, according to Phys.org. Of those participants, 312 were in monogamous relationships and 200 were in consensually non-monogamous relationships.
Participants answered questions about themselves and up to two romantic partners. The research team used psychological measures to assess perceived mate value, partner conflict, jealousy, mate guarding, intrasexual competition and relationship maintenance practices.
The researchers found a different pattern when they examined secondary partners in non-monogamous relationships. In those cases, feeling more desirable than a secondary partner predicted more negative outcomes, including greater conflict, rivalry and efforts to keep that partner close.
Communication appeared to soften the strain
Relationship habits also mattered in the findings. Open discussion of attraction and jealousy was linked with fewer negative relationship outcomes in several analyses, Phys.org reported.
For participants in consensually non-monogamous relationships, compersion — feeling happiness about a partner’s intimacy with someone else — was also associated with fewer issues. The researchers found that ranking partners in a hierarchy tended to work in the opposite direction, with more jealousy, rivalry and mate guarding.
The results challenge the idea that consensual non-monogamy removes jealousy from relationships. The researchers concluded that people in non-monogamous relationships did not appear more vulnerable than monogamous people to perceived desirability gaps, but they also did not appear immune to them.
Phys.org reported that the findings may be useful for counselors and educators working with people in different relationship structures. The study points to communication as a factor that can reduce tension, while showing that perceived differences in desirability remain relevant across relationship types.
This story draws on original reporting from Phys.org.