How everyday household tasks impact relationships, according to UQ study

How everyday household tasks impact relationships may depend as much on whether partners agree about the split as on who does the work. A University of Queensland study published in Scientific Reports examined 235 heterosexual romantic couples and found that wider differences in partners’ views of household labour were associated with poorer reported relationship quality.

The research separates household work into three categories: physical tasks, the planning needed to run a home, and emotional care. That framework puts attention on work that can be less visible than cleaning or cooking, including organizing appointments, anticipating needs and offering comfort.

How do everyday household tasks impact relationships?

According to the University of Queensland, partners who differed more in their assessments of how household responsibilities were shared also reported lower relationship quality. The finding is an association within the study group; it does not establish that disagreements over work cause relationship problems.

Dr. Sarah Coundouris of UQ’s School of Psychology examined physical labour such as washing, cleaning and cooking; cognitive labour such as making shopping lists and scheduling appointments; and emotional labour including anticipating, caring, comforting and consoling.

• Differences in perceptions of physical and emotional work were associated with greater relationship unhappiness, with the pattern strongest among women.
• Differences in perceptions of cognitive work were associated with poorer relationship quality only among men.
• Women in the sample reported doing almost 25% more of the thinking, planning and scheduling required for the home and family commitments than their partners reported.

Why can planning and care work be overlooked?

Coundouris said household labour extends beyond tasks people can readily see. Planning, scheduling, anticipating and caring can be harder for partners to recognize and acknowledge, University of Queensland said.

That distinction matters because the study measured each partner’s account of the division of work, rather than treating an unequal split alone as the explanation for relationship strain. Two people in the same relationship can interpret their contributions differently, Coundouris said.

What the findings do and do not cover

The results concern 235 heterosexual romantic couples, so they cannot be assumed to apply in the same way to every relationship. The researchers said further work is needed on household labour among LGBTQIA+ people and new parents.

Separate practical context from Cleveland Clinic psychologist Susan Albers points to one possible household pattern: repeated avoidance of a task, or persistently doing it badly until another person takes it over. Albers calls this “weaponized incompetence” and said it can be deliberate or unintentional; a person who lacks a skill or is trying to improve should not automatically be treated as engaging in that pattern.

Albers said repeated avoidance can leave one partner carrying more physical and mental work, contributing to resentment and reduced trust. She recommends recognizing recurring patterns, avoiding an automatic takeover, assigning responsibilities with each person’s abilities in mind and considering counseling if repeated discussions do not change the situation.

This story draws on original reporting from Phys.org.