Psychologist points to grandparents as support for children’s mental health

Grandparents can play a larger role in supporting children’s mental health as families face rising levels of anxiety, sadness and stress among young people, according to child psychologist Kenneth Barish. Taylor & Francis Group said Barish makes the case in a new book that children need steady adult relationships, purpose and conversation as much as achievement.

The group cited U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention data showing that more than 40% of U.S. teenagers report persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness. Barish, a clinical professor of psychology at Weill Cornell Medicine and a fellow of the American Psychological Association, connects that concern to what he describes as reduced support from extended family and community.

A role beyond child care

In The Art and Science of Parenting and Grandparenting, Barish draws on four decades of clinical work along with research in neuroscience, child development and education, according to Taylor & Francis Group. He argues that grandparents can help families address parenting pressures by offering children attention, encouragement and a wider sense of belonging.

Barish says many parents now raise children with less extended family and community support than human families have historically relied on. He argues that children benefit from grandparents who listen, take their concerns seriously and help them believe problems can be solved and relationships repaired.

Taylor & Francis Group said Barish describes these ordinary moments of care as small building blocks of emotional health. Shared play, interest in a child’s goals and warm attention can strengthen family bonds and help children recover from emotional setbacks, he argues.

Purpose, kindness and achievement pressure

Barish also warns that a culture centered heavily on personal achievement can weaken children’s sense of connection to others. According to Taylor & Francis Group, he argues that kindness, empathy and helping others should be regular parts of family conversation from early childhood.

The group said research has linked intense achievement pressure with higher rates of anxiety, depression and substance abuse, especially in affluent communities. Barish argues that achievement alone can be a fragile source of motivation and that children need purpose beyond grades, awards or status.

Taylor & Francis Group also cited work reviewed by psychologist Jane Piliavin, which found associations between helping others and higher self-esteem, lower depression rates, reduced school dropout, better immune function and longer life expectancy. Barish recommends family volunteering and frequent conversations about other people’s feelings and needs as ways to build that sense of purpose.

Less criticism, more useful praise

Barish says one frequent problem he sees in clinical work with families is excessive criticism rather than excessive praise. Taylor & Francis Group said he argues that repeated criticism can produce resentment and defiance while weakening children’s initiative.

He also distinguishes between kinds of praise. Drawing on psychologist Carol Dweck’s growth mindset concept, Barish recommends that adults praise effort and learning instead of intelligence, talent or grades, according to Taylor & Francis Group.

Barish’s book outlines 21 principles for encouraging cooperation, including collaborative problem solving and giving children chances to reset rather than relying on punishment, the group said. His broader argument is that children’s success depends on emotional strength, confidence and meaningful relationships, with grandparents positioned to help provide all three.

This story draws on original reporting from ScienceDaily.